Helping Families and Friends Honour Their Little One
Still Birth
Neonatal Loss
Young Baby Loss
Where will my baby be kept before the Cremation, Burial and or funeral?
Before their burial or cremation, your baby will be kept safely in the hospital or the funeral home. You can visit them there.

Alternately some families chose to spend time with baby and chose to have the baby at home, this is often an option.
Registering your baby’s life and death
Before you can hold a funeral, the Funeral Home you will need to obtain a birth and death certificate for your baby. At the same time as getting this they will also be given a form to permit burial or cremation.

The hospital or funeral director can help you with this and any other forms.
Transporting your baby after death
Families have the option of bringing their baby to the Funeral Home themselves or having the Funeral Home come and receive the baby from their house or hospital
Burial Options
Contact a licensed Funeral Director to discuss burial options including but not limited to;
  • Infant Graves
  • Adult Graves (allowing parents to be buried with baby at a later date)
  • Donated or Provided Graves
  • Shared Graves
Spending time with your baby before the funeral
In many cases it is possible for you to take your baby home before the cremation, burial and or the funeral. 

Some Funeral Homes will offer to bring baby home in a baby basket or casket. You may or may not choose to open the basket but some families take comfort in having baby at home until the cremation, burial and or the funeral. With the nursery all ready it might feel natural to keep baby at home for a few days.
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Read more here about spending time with your baby after the death and much more additional information ...if you have any questions or suggestions for content please contact us.
Burial Options
Contact a licensed Funeral Director to discuss burial options including but not limited to;
  • Infant Graves
  • Adult Graves (allowing parents to be buried with baby at a later date)
  • Donated or Provided Graves
  • Shared Graves
Ceremony
Funerals may at a variety of locations
  • Funeral Home Intimidate Space
  • Funeral Home Chapel
  • Church
  • Hospital
  • Family Home
  • Cemetery
  • Crematorium

Funerals can be based around religion or not and with the help of a Funeral Director can suit all denominations and parents regardless of their beliefs. Speak to the Funeral Home about what you would like and see what your options are.
You should be able to invite close family and friends to the ceremony if you choose.
Planning the ceremony for your baby
If you don’t choose a funeral for your Baby, what happens at the ceremony is up to you.
It can be very small, with just family and your closest friend, or you may decide not to invite anyone at all.

If you’re religious, you may have a set structure to follow, your church and Funeral Director will provide guidance on religious customs and beliefs regarding infant loss.

If you are not religious, you could ask the funeral director, an independent celebrant or even a close family member or friend to lead the ceremony. It can be as personal as you want it to be.

Here are some things other parents have had in their ceremonies:
  • baby play date themed gathering (encouraging children and families to attend)
  • poems
  • readings
  • live or recorded music
  • bio-degradable balloon release
  • lighting candles
  • asking for donations to the hospital that looked after their baby or a baby charity
  • avoiding black and asking guests to wear bright colours or white instead
  • having a unstained wood casket and asking family, friends and siblings to write messages on it
  • encouraging family and friends to write letters to place in the casket or grave
  • making memorial card with a picture of their baby, with their name and dates on the front.
​Choosing an outfit
This is not a requirement but rather an option

Parents can choose what they want their baby to wear in their casket. For very small or premature babies, some hospitals stock tiny clothes that they may be able to give you. Or you may want to bring some special clothes from home. Some parents keep a copy of the outfit in their memory box. You can also wrap your baby in a special blanket if you like.

There may be other items that you want to include in your baby’s casket. Some parents say that it’s comforting to know their baby isn’t alone in there. You might like to include photos of your family, a special teddy or toy, or a letter you’ve written to them. Siblings could draw a picture or write their own letter to their baby sister or brother.

If you are planning on placing items with your baby in the casket please be sure to confirm the casket size as there are a variety of infant caskets and some will not accommodate additional items as where others will accommodate everything you wish.
Other decisions
You may also like to think about transport and who you would like to carry the coffin into the ceremony. 
Deciding what to do with your baby’s ashes
​If you decide on a cremation, you should be contacted when they’re ready to be collected.
There are lots of things you can do with the ashes in memory of your baby, such as:
  • Scatter them in a place that is special to you. Just bear in mind that you cannot scatter them:
    • within 1km upstream of any drinking water supply
    • from a bridge over a river used by boaters or canoeists
    • close to a marina, that anglers use or where people swim.
  • Bury them in a cemetery or memorial garden.
  • Scatter or bury the ashes in your own garden, but think about how you’ll feel if you move away.
  • Keep them in a decorative urn or other special container in your home.
  • Buy a photo frame that has a container for holding the ashes at the back.
  • There is special jewellery that you can have made with your baby’s ashes so you can wear them and keep them close to you.
Alternatively, the crematorium can bury or scatter the ashes for you in a special place in the crematorium grounds, possibly with a plaque. Read more about ways to remember your baby in future
Own grave
If your baby is in their own grave, it may be in a special area of the cemetery for babies. Find out what you are allowed on the grave as there may be restrictions.
Organising the funeral yourself or using a funeral director means you will have the choice between burial and cremation. If you choose a burial, there are options about where your baby can be buried, including:
  • a cemetery
  • a green woodland site
  • in consecrated grounds
  • on private land.
Burying your baby at home might feel right but try to think about the future, for example you might decide to move away at some point.
Cremation
The hospital may offer you an individual cremation or a shared cremation with other babies. If available, individual cremation is offered for babies who died after birth or were stillborn.
Cremated Remains
The hospital should let you know when your baby’s ashes will be ready to be collected.
​Planning a funeral for your baby
By law, any baby born after 24 weeks must be either buried or cremated. However, it is up to the parents whether or not to hold a service.
ORGANIZING a funeral
It’s your decision how you choose to say goodbye to your child. There are lots of people who can help you with funeral arrangements.
Funeral directors
If you want more choice, you can work with a funeral director. You may have to pay a fee but most funeral homes will offer a reduced rate.
The hospital
Most hospitals can arrange a funeral for you, usually free of charge or for a small fee.
For hospital funerals, a lot of the paperwork and decisions will be done for you and you may find that your choices are limited. As an example, some hospitals provide shared ceremonies and shared graves, whereas others may only be able to offer cremation.
ORGANIZING the funeral yourself
​It is possible, if you want and feel able, to arrange the funeral yourself. This will involve speaking directly to the crematorium or cemetery.
You can include whatever you like in your ceremony – you may have important religious wishes that you would like recognised, or you may want a non-religious event with poetry and singing.
"Daffodils were there the whole time she was alive. And we ended up having daffodils for her funeral because they’re so bright and they’re so pretty, but they don’t live very long. And that was Melody.”Julz, Melody’s mum
Some parents keep it private to just the two of them, or a very small group of people. And you can also choose not to be present at all. If this is what you want, the hospital and undertaker will make all the arrangements for you.
Try to take some time before making any decisions, and remember that you can change your mind.
When should our baby’s funeral take place?
There is no rule or law about when your baby’s funeral has to happen, but normally it will be within 2-3 weeks. Take your time and think about what you would like to do. Talking to those close to you might help and they may be able to assist you in your planning.
Although the hospital will probably want to know if you’d like them to arrange your baby’s funeral before you go home, the staff can let you know who to contact if you haven’t yet decided.
Don’t feel under pressure to rush any decisions
Burial
Cremation

​Welcome

When we experience the death of someone we love, a service fills several important needs. In this section you’ll learn why it’s important to have a funeral and how it can start you on the path to healing.

​ A funeral is a time to honor the life of the deceased and celebrate the heritage of their family. We strive to make each funeral a respectful, fulfilling experience that meets the unique needs of each family.

The Bitterest tears shed over graves are
for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.


– Harriet Beecher Stowe

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